WHAT IS A DOULA?

So, what is this doula thing that so many pregnant women speak of? The word ‘doula’ — pronounced ‘doo-la’ — is a Greek word meaning ‘woman servant or caregiver’.

More recently, it refers to someone who offers emotional and physical support to a woman and her partner before, during and after childbirth.

A doula (also known as a birth attendant) believes in ‘mothering the mother’. She enables a woman and her partner to have the most satisfying birth experience possible, from pregnancy and into motherhood. This type of support allows the whole family to relax and enjoy the experience too.

A doula provides  supportive care during pregnancy, labor, and shortly after during the postpartum period.  The support comes in two forms: physical and emotional.  

The second important role of a doula is to provide childbirth education in order to empower the Mother into making the best choices for herself as well as her newborn. All of this is done in a non-judgemental, supportive way.

Basically, a doula is bring the 'village' back to childbirth and childrearing. Women, supporting women. 

IT'S A GIRL!!!

So my granddaughter is already a week old! It has been a crazy roller coaster week, hence, why I have not written about this sooner.  

Last Friday and Saturday I helped Tamika, Guy and Chester move into their townhouse. Late Saturday night I was very tired and bruised, as Tamika drove me home I jokingly said "please don't have the bub tonight or tomorrow I am too tired."

Well Bub did not listen.

At 4.15am Sunday morning Tamika had her first show. She called me, and woke Guy. Then called the midwife.... Yep that was all to plan. But the next hour was not.

Tamika knew with the very first contraction something was not right, that this bub was in a hurry. She called back the midwife, who told her to call an ambulance. Guy, was like, no need I will just pack and we can drive.

Lucky Tamika followed her intuition. A with just two pushes, bub was born in the back of the ambulance in Tamika's driveway at 5.47, just over one hour and half from her first show.

It was an extremely hard birth for all of us. For me to be inside the apartment playing trains with Chester, hearing my daughter screaming for me. For Guy to see Tamika go through the birth and then begin to hemorrhage. And obviously it was the hardest for Tamika.

Tamika lost a LOT of blood and lost consciousness on the way to the hospital. The rest of the story is not mine to tell, it is Tamika's

But the drama continued for a few days... culminating in another ambulance ride Tuesday night back to the hospital for emergency surgery. (The hospital had only discharged her a couple of hours before against my better judgment).

But, now a week later I can finally say Mum and baby are good when I tell people Tamika had her baby.

Welcome to the world, Lola Ruby Lietzow-Chinn. You certainly know how to make a dramatic entrance!

EVERYDAY MOMENTS: WEEK EIGHT

We had planned a mini getaway for ages. Justin had a surfing lesson and a dive voucher.

But after on half a day Jarvis asked if Tamika and 'his Chester" could join us. Best move ever. I got to spend so much time with all of my babies. Tamika got to relax. And Jarvis and Chester got to hang out every minute of every day.

Most afternoons were spent like this. Just lazily enjoying the beach.

EVERYDAY MOMENTS: WEEK SEVEN

Tamika was off at her antenatal appointment. Justin was working on the coast, so it was just the boys, and I, today. With no pool and horrid heat and humidity, we spend ages splashing in the little Splash and Play pool. Best $20 bucks I have spent in a long time.

EVERYDAY MOMENTS: WEEK FIVE (TWO WEEKS LATE)

I actually posted the first two images about ten days ago. For my everyday moments, Weeks five, I called it guitar hero. At first I thought how cute the two boys looked playing guitar, on an extremely hot and humid day.

Seconds after I posted it, I realised my error and whipped that post down.

Opps Chester's t-shirt. I would have given the game away two week too early.

For those of you who do not follow me on instagram... I am going to be a GRANDMOTHER AGAIN! Yep super excited. Baby number two is due mid August. How adorable does Chester look in his Big Brother t-shirt?

CHESTER ONE YEAR OLD

In twelve months, Chester, you have gone from this...

to this

And change so many lives for ever.

Happy birthday gorgeous. Thank you for making me a Grandmother, and letting me be your Jiji 

HOW DO YOU ACCEPT A COMPLIMENT?

Am I the only one who finds it hard to personally accept compliments? And how do you possibly talk about them without sound like a, well a conceited wank?

But, since I have talked about negative feedback and reactions from others, I thought I should talk about how there are people, out there who can be super nice, who give compliments.

There is a girl a work who is lovely to everyone. Said my hair looked like a beautiful mermaid. She is positive about so much and towards so many people.

Then on Monday I took Jarvis to Wet & Wild on the coast. Yup got this 47 year old unfit white body out in a bikini. Sometimes the thought crosses my mind that maybe I should cover up more because of my age. But then I go and play with Jarvis and forget about body issues.

Long story, but was chatting to another Mum while our kids played together in the water. She asked if I had adopted Jarvis. When I said no, her response... "No way, your body does not look like it has ever been pregnant or given birth". When I told her Jarvis was my second, plus I was a grandmother, she then asked/stated "wow you must spend so much time at the gym to have such a great body".

Wasn't sure how to tell her I never exercise. Plus I got all uncomfortable with her compliments. My first response was to argue, "my body is not that good", "I am old", "I have lumps and bumps" and so on. Rather to say thank you. My instinct was to deny. 

Am I the only one who has not learnt/been taught how to accept a compliment?

What do you do?

Do you mumble like an idiot like I do? 

On a side note: The image has nothing to do with the post. I just like this shot of Justin and I done together, and I do not think I have ever shared how amazing they all are. Took my ages to pick just this one. And no we are not nude, this image just makes us look like we both were. Though I did make Justin take his shirt off. Yep, I do enjoy a good perv on my partner. 

WHEN WILL MUMS START BEING NICE TO EACH OTHER?

So on Tuesday I thought I would be brave, and do lots of running around/chores with the two boys. After a bad night sleep and a six am start, I threw on what ever I thought would be A. comfy and B. baby proof. Leaving the house meant packing enough stuff for a gazillion options, I was exhausted just loading the car.

This is a tale not of having a go at another Mum, but of one reminding Mums to be nice to one another.

I had just finished the groceries, and Chester opted at the check out, to do the giant poop babies are famous for. So off to the change room. I blandly chat to the young Mum next to me, we have both got exploding poos and we each ask age and name of said poo machine. While this is happening another Mum comes up to me really close, I thought she needed to change her baby, and was peeved we were taking awhile.

She then said (right up in my face while gesturing up and down my body) "mothers like you make the rest of us feel bad". The young girl next to me asked if I knew her, when I stated I did not she turned to this Mum and told her... well I will use the PG version to "eff off you fat slag".

I have no idea why this woman was up in my face, no I was not having it easy. Any mother, or person, looking after a toddler and a newborn will tell you it is hard work. I am not angry at her I actually just felt sad. Why do women/ Mums feel the need to attack others? Each any every Mum (parent) is fighting their own battle so how about we show Mums so love?

So I am going to dedicate this post to two Mums I know that do incredible jobs. Lila over at Muma Nourish  and Christina at A Little Bird Told Me. You two are extraordinary and inspiring!

Question, what do you do with your arms in photos, so awkward?!

JARVIS IS GOING TO BE AN UNCLE! BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, I AM GOING TO BE A GRANDMOTHER

And with one tiny being, a whole list of other people were created. A new Mum. A new Dad. A new Grandmother...the list goes on.

PS hop over to my Facebook page, give it a like, plus help me pick a name. No, not for the baby for me.

11/52

My Mother made a rare visit (it feels like forever since we have seen her, especially not seen her in hospital). A quiet day, lunch at Stones Corner, with Mum, my Aunt and my little sister; and then just hanging out at the FOTT house. Today has got me thinking of memories and lost moments in life. 

There are a few, Portrait a Week options out there. A lot involve taking a portrait of your children each week. Jodi over at Che and Fidel has inspired me to pick up my camera and turn the focus inward. Since I already take 100s of photos of my children each week, so I thought I would twist the idea a little. What I never seem to get is group shots, images of the family together. Whether it is my two children, Tamika and Jarvis. Or me with the kids. Or shots of Justin and I. So I am going to challenge myself to get one image of "my family" per week.

MY SEPTEMBER 11

Eleven years have passed. It is a date that many will not forget for the profound horror this day bought upon the world. However, for me, and my family, this day is one of personal pain.

It has been 11 years. I still miss you so much. I miss our Sunday night phone calls. I miss that you have not seen Tamika grown up into this amazingly beautiful woman. I miss that you never got to meet Justin, you would have loved his gentle soul that calms me and keeps me sane. I miss that you have not got to meet your youngest Great-grandson Jarvis, he is a delight in every way. I miss your influence on my life.

But most of all I just miss you and your three kisses. I love you.

Patrica Hartmann, who was many things to many people, Grandmother, Mother, Sister, Great-Grandmother, friend, artist, world explorer, died. She was, is, my inspiration. And for the few years we lived together in the same house, Pat became more than my Grandmother, she was my friend, my confidant and my teacher.

I will not, cannot use, words such as loss or passed on, I did not lose my grandmother, I know where she is, she died, but she will be in my heart forever.

three little kisses