WELL DONE MUMMAS

The other night I posted a simple image and caption to my Instagram and Facebook page. "Took the bins out. Prepared a roast dinner. Went for a walk. Feed the toddler all while wearing a baby. My esteem and congratulations go out to all those Mummas that do this on a daily basis. Women with more than one small child you are amazing in what you manage each and every day."

It started a conversation, and later I was thinking about what Cherie said "And also, more women need to do THIS every day. Compliment each other. I actually felt legitimately proud of myself reading this whilst wrangling my littles  Sometimes it can honestly be MONTHS in between Dave telling me I am actually "doing good". x

You can find Cherie at Raising Master Max on her Facebook page and blog. 

I realised that not once in my almost 22 years of parenting has anyone ever told me that I was doing a good job. That is, until a random stranger, approached me this week and said "I have been watching you interact with your son. You are one of the best mothers I have seen in awhile. Your son's beautiful manners are a direct result of your parenting." I mumbled a thank you and she then said "you should be proud. I am a child therapist and mother of six".

I have had many people comment on how well behaved Tamika was, and now how Jarvis is. Yet no one has ever complimented me as a parent and attributed my child's manners to me.

Motherhood is a titled that is earned, oh boy is it earned! It is earned in tears, sleepless nights, and endless worrying. It is earned in fears you have for your child; fears of devastating illness, fears of accidents, and fears of the craziness of the world in which we live.

So to all of the Mums out there, with one, two or more children, let me say... well done you are doing an amazing job.

Oh and I think the above image just about sums up motherhood. I am trying to look like I have it all under control and act like I know what I am doing. However, in reality I am sitting in a cow field, stinking of poo, being bitting on the butt by and ant pretending to know what I am doing. 

30/52 2014

It is funny how a child will act differently with each parent. Jarvis will rough house play, jumping, and slamming all over Justin. Yet when we are out, I often hear the same words, "Up Daddy".

When Jarvis and I go for walks, he loves to hold my hand. Even hanging on when he bends down to inspect all of the elements at his feet. With Justin Jarvis does not last for long, asking to be up in his Dad's arms.

Jarvis tucks his head into Justin's neck and entwines his arm around Justin's arms. Safe and loved in Daddy's arms.

Last year Jodi inspired me to pick up my camera and turn the focus inward. This year I have opted to continue with the series as I feel there are still so many family stories to be told through photos. So I will continue to Link up with Jodi  (the artist formerly known as Che & Fidel now Practising Simplicity) for the 52 Project. 

Also linking up with Bron over at Baby Space with the quote a week

THEN AND NOW PARENTING

As I was slathering Jarvis with sun screen, and then layering on the sun shirt, hat, and making sure he was under the shade of the brolly before letting him in the pool, I thought how different I am in so many ways from my parents, yet I am so much the same.

As a child I was lucky to get a crocheted bikini as protection, even Susie with her pale skin was put out in the sun. We joked as children, and as adults, that our mother needed a rotisserie as she loved to bake so much in the sun. There were no time limits, no sun screen, no hats, definitely not a brolly, unless it was to keep the booze cool. A visit to the beach or a pool was all about how much sun we could all get. I remember coming home, as a child, with skin so burnt, it was stiff and painful to move.

Now I am not sure whether it is helicopter parenting or more education on skin cancer, but I am so neurotic about Jarvis getting burnt. I hear myself often nagging him to play in the shade and get out of the sun. I even limit the amount of time he plays outside in the middle part of the day, as this new house does not offer much in the way of protection from the sun.

As I floated in the pool beside Jarvis (yes I had such a tough morning) I began to wonder how much of me was in contrast to my parents and how much of me was the same? Is everything I do a direct reaction from my childhood?

Okay so tell me… what do you do that is exactly like you parents? And what is that you do that is different?.

Jarvis floated out into the sun, all relaxed and laid back in the pool, I was the neurotic mother yelling "kick back over into the shade".

NAIL POLISH FOR BOYS THAT DEFINE SEXUALITY

Can nail polish define sexuality? Apparently so. Well according to some other people who have passed comment this week.

Plumbers crack boy on his bike.

Jarvis is a bit of a rough adventurous boy. A boy who is always active, climbing and throwing things. But he is also a boy who is quick to cuddle, and likes to hang out with his sister and I when we do our make-up, asking for brushes.

Tamika and I always paint our nails and Jarvis often likes to potter around with us. So this time when I did my nails, Jarvis kept pointing at his toe nails, we just put some polish on his big toe nails. I did this and then forgot about it.

My pedicure 

That is until another person made the comment “are you trying to turn your son gay?” I stood there dumb founded, and did not answer. Really? Really would someone really think that nail polish defines someone sexuality?

Jarvis's offending nail polish.

Jarvis is a rough and tumble boy, who likes to mimic his big sister and I. In this instance it included nail polish. Other boy children of our family have worn nail polish. My great-nephew who is 10 months old than Jarvis will often rock nail polish, just to be like his two older sisters. So in our family we think nothing of it. In no way have we ever thought nail polish would define or change a child’s sexuality.

Are we the only family who think nothing of painting a boys toenails? Has any other parent ever had something like this said to them?