This week’s guest post on Education
comes from the lovely Lila from Little Wolff. The more I know Lila, the more we
find out how much we have in common. From backgrounds in hairdressing, to
raising children generations apart, to tackling crazy renovations Lila is a
kindred spirit and I am honoured to have her share her story with me. Make sure you pop over to Lila's blog and Facebook page and give her lots of love.
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Educating
women post - Why (some) women fail at education.
There are
many wonderful different stories of paths to study success that others have to
share with you, but that’s not my story.
The first
time that I put my study aside was surprisingly not when I became a single mum
at 17 but a couple of years earlier when I left school for an apprenticeship
that turn out not to be as secure as it had appeared. I returned to high school
and continued my pattern of unease and briefly left home and school again
ending up pregnant and back at home at 16. Pregnancy didn’t stop me studying
but once Miss P arrived between adjusting to a baby and the expectations at
home it all seemed too much, within six months I’d entered the workforce and
study was shelved.
In the years
since then I’ve started studying and have completed several small stints of
study and certificates but when I’ve attempted degrees I’ve lasted six months
maximum, and it’s not because I’m a bad student I achieve quite high grades.
My story is
one of repeated unfulfilled attempts to study and while that’s most likely not
an inspiring tale to tell I think that failure is also an important part of
opening up the conversation around educating women.
Support: It
was around the third year of high school that I realised that my parents
weren’t willing to support me through university. I’m not saying that women
studying need full financial backing or to be cared for to be successful. But
the fact of the matter is that to go to university I would have had to move a
minimum of 400kms from home, find and finance accommodation, transport and
living costs (my mother earned too much for me to be eligible for government
support and being declared independent was also a difficult process). It seemed
an insurmountable challenge and so I mentally shifted gears and stopped wanting
an academic future for myself, thinking that way caused me to believe there was
no point in doing well (or even attending school). If there’s anything to be
offered from my experience it’s that telling and showing the women in your life
that you are willing to support them (emotionally even if you can’t assist
financially) in achieving their dream is paramount in them keeping that dream
alive.
Self-sacrifice:
It’s natural to me to put my needs aside for the greater good of my family.
Except it’s not natural, as women we are trained from birth to sacrifice our
desires to fulfil the expectations of others. Each time I’ve attempted study
it’s placed our family under financial strain and as such I’ve left to ensure
that my family have a more comfortable life, so that they don’t have to go
without. For women to be truly equal in access to education we need to teach
them from young girls that their needs and desires are valid and just as
important as those of others around them.
Recognition:
I’m not saying that women should get more recognition for studying than men,
but to break through the social conditioning that is so common and achieve
whatever goals they may have does need to be celebrated. Some reassuring that
they are doing something important and recognition of this struggle to those
who are in the midst of studying could be what they need to keep pushing
through and finish. Recognising that finishing is just the beginning of the
struggle for women in many industries and letting them know you have faith in
their ability might be just what they need to put that education into action
and break through the many barriers that still exist for women in the
workplace.
Take it from
me a little encouragement, some love and maybe some babysitting or a meal if
you can manage it could be the supporting the girls and women in your life need
while pursuing their education dreams.
Please Note: Images and words are Lila's unless otherwise indicated
Excellent article. I agree wholeheartedly with your points. The Human Rights declaration states that ..." higher education shall be equally accessible to all on the basis of merit." (Article 26) but sadly so many women need to sacrifice their own educational dreams and needs in order to provide and support their family. We need to examine by what we mean by "equally accessible". If our society does not support mothers by providing child care options and other facilities, then it is not truly a just society (and don't get me started about the work place!). When I am on campus now, I see lots of women in their 50s and 60s around. It is still an indication of an unjust society that women have to wait until their family is less dependent on them in order to fulfill their right to education.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree...and I agree with Spark below.
ReplyDeleteI think that having the parental expectation that I would go to not only college but a good college motivated me through high school...and I admit that once I got to that good college I struggled because there was no goal to achieve next.
Now of course back to studying again and like you said a meal or a few hours to work on an assignment mean so much to me!
For what it is worth, I think that it is amazing that you are studying architecture and based on what I have seen you do with your house I think you are going to be an incredibly intuitive and creative architect!
I wonder if the fact women need to sacrifice their own education dreams is linked to so many young girls in school 'dumbing down' in front of boys?
ReplyDeleteParental expectations and guidance can do untold benefits when it comes to their children's education
ReplyDeleteIt could be Julie although my dumbing down wasn't to do with boys but with the way other students behave when I knew too many of the answers.
ReplyDeleteThat's definitely my experience! My children know that I expect them to seek further education!
ReplyDeleteThanks for joining the conversation Spark I think you make a great point about examining what accessible means!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for having me here Julie!
ReplyDeleteWhy is it? Why do girls feel the need to dumb down?
ReplyDeleteAs a lecturer, I've noticed the student attrition rates each semester are generally higher for women and women are more likely to have personal/mental issues (particularly depression and anxiety) that make it difficult to study/hand in assignment or to stay. I like that quite a few universities are oftering (generally private) scholarships for women who choose to go into male-dominated fields like engineering, mathematics and physics. But it really doesn't go far enough to redress the gender imbalance when it comes to making sure more women can actually finish their degrees.
ReplyDeleteHuge question, but do you have any ideas on what/how to address the gender imbalance?
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome any time!
ReplyDeleteThis was a great read. I was really lucky to have full financial support from my Mum and was the first one in our immediate family to complete a university degree. It's a real shame that women aren't supported more in the education arena. Maybe if they were we would see an end to glass ceilings because more women would be attempting a wider range of learning disciplines eg engineering and all those 'boys club' degrees.
ReplyDeleteAs a child of a 'Tiger mother' it was grilled from an early age that I HAD to go to university. I don't think being forced to go is the answer but I do think believing in your child and putting stepping stones in place so they can actually see that it can be a 'reality' for them to achieve. Parents definitely need to provide guidance, support and encouragement.
ReplyDeleteI think it's bigger than just the universities. It's one of those things that requires a change at quite a few different levels - at the family level with the way we talk about and value education, at a cultural level with the role models for women and education in the media and in various forms of arts and at a societal level with the different funding models and institutional supports in place as well as how we teach at primary and secondary levels.
ReplyDeleteFor instance, I think Lego recently introduced its first woman scientist toy. The fact that that was news says something about our culture more generally really.
I agree, I do not think forcing anyone to go will help. But I think there should always be encouragement and support.
ReplyDeleteDo you think the financial support helped you complete your degree?
ReplyDeleteMy great Aunt was a scientist and her Husband was a stay at home Dad. This statement may not seem much, but Jill is now in her 90s at the time she was a huge pioneer. I think because of the role models I had growing up I believed most men were gentle and soft and loving (my Dad) and women could do what they want (my Grandmother and her sister).
ReplyDeleteDad always told us when we stop learning is when we start to head towards death.
It definitely made me complete my degree. Although because it was funding for my mum I did stay in a degree I didn't enjoy. But not having that financial help anymore is definitely making me put off studying something I love until a lot later in life!
ReplyDeleteWhoops meant funding from my mum not for !
ReplyDeleteSo do you think it is better to complete a degree you are not enjoying? Or start again? What did you study?
ReplyDeleteI studied human resources & psych a 5yr double degree (but to get the full psych I should've done 3+ extra years!). I think it's good to change provided you know you're going to complete it or you're not too far gone with the original. It has definitely opened doors for me. But on the other hand my sister completed an accounting degree, hated it and hasn't really used it either. Ultimately work needs to be something you love but choosing that straight out of high school is too hard!
ReplyDeleteI don't expect or not-expect that my own children will go on to university, but I will do everything I can to support them in whatever choice they make. For me, education is a life-long thing that may be formal or informal. The desire to learn and grow is what I'll mainly be hoping to instill. I put myself through university away from home financially, but emotionally I was supported all the way. I think that's the most important thing. Thanks for sharing your experience, Lila. x
ReplyDelete