HAVE YOU EATEN SOMETHING?

Okay, so this image may be funny to some, but growing up this was my reality, only change the text to 1950s. I am pretty sure Mum has not eaten much since then. Like Patsy, she too likes to sunbake and drink. Mum, was, is anorexic. Now, I am not going to talk about Mum's demons. they are hers to tell. But for me, I will say, growing up in a house where a mother, a woman clearly hated her body had a direct influence on me.

For years I followed her example, and hated my body, this external hate also included internal hate. Years of trying to have babies and then having miscarriages will do that to you.

Just as I learnt to hate my body, I am now trying learn a healthy love of my body. By adopting a realistic and positive perception of myself, I am hopeful I will teach my two children love for their own bodies and love of other women's bodies.

Does this mean I now don't look in the mirror and find fault? No. Does this mean I have gotten over my insecurities and will start posting selfies? Or shots of myself wearing bikinis? No freaken way. Not there yet. But I am trying, I am working on being thankful for what my body is, and does for me. Not what it doesn't.

Pet hate...magazines covers that declare "too fat", "too thin", "cellulite", and so on. Why are women buying these mags? Is it to make themselves feels better? What is your pet hate when it comes to trashing women's bodies and their self confidence?

note: image not my own, found on Google. 

EDUCATION GUEST POST STEPH FROM: this brown wren

This week’s guest post on Education comes from Steph. How do I begin to describe just how lovely Steph, and her blog, this brown wren, are? From her dreamy imagery, intertwined with the poetry of her words, Steph weaves a special magic through her world, which she shares so beautifully with us.  Make sure you pop over to Stephs's blog and Facebook page and give her lots of love.

I look down at the little toy clothes line beside me and smile at the “smalls” hanging neatly in a row. The fabric smoothed and taut with two pegs either side letting the breeze do its job.  From a sunny spot perched on the side of the sandpit she has watched me do this very same chore every day for as long as she has been.  My hands have moved rhythmically from basket to line like fingers along black and white keys and she has absorbed their every movement.  Words have never been spoken but the teaching was always there.  Like a shadow she mimics my ways.

I have threaded needles more times than I can remember and quietly demonstrated the up and down motion of embroidery. Tangles and tears, tediousness and triumph. My own task set down almost indefinitely as my attention shifts to her tiny fingers and their developing nimbleness. My time is all she asks of me. She is eager to learn.

She starts “big school” next year and although my heart will break with the longing for her I am heartened by the new delicious slices of this world she will see.  She will encounter patient souls who will reform her pencil grip time and time again, will gently remind her that ‘i’ comes before ‘e’ except after ‘c’ and will give their time and energy freely. I hope she will be blessed with a year five teacher called Mrs. King who will tell her that she can be anything she wants to be…..perhaps a writer? And a Madame Simons who will ignite a passion of the French language and let her laugh raucously at life’s comedy.

Their speech, their posture, their view of this world will trickle in parts down into her tiny frame and will help mould her into a magnificent woman. They will read beautiful literature to her and untangle her brain when algebra ties it in knots. She will be guided on a journey more valuable than all the world’s jewels. She will learn.

To learn is to open one’s eyes, hearts and souls to all the magnificence of this world. It is life’s greatest gift.

Steph x

*Mrs King and Madame Simons were two of my brilliant teachers whose inspiration still touches me today. Thank-you wonderful beings.

Please Note: Images and words are Steph's's unless otherwise indicated

* First image by Tim Coulson.

EDUCATION GUEST POST LILA FROM: Little Wolff

This week’s guest post on Education comes from the lovely Lila from Little Wolff. The more I know Lila, the more we find out how much we have in common. From backgrounds in hairdressing, to raising children generations apart, to tackling crazy renovations Lila is a kindred spirit and I am honoured to have her share her story with me. Make sure you pop over to Lila's blog and Facebook page and give her lots of love.

Educating women post - Why (some) women fail at education.

There are many wonderful different stories of paths to study success that others have to share with you, but that’s not my story.

The first time that I put my study aside was surprisingly not when I became a single mum at 17 but a couple of years earlier when I left school for an apprenticeship that turn out not to be as secure as it had appeared. I returned to high school and continued my pattern of unease and briefly left home and school again ending up pregnant and back at home at 16. Pregnancy didn’t stop me studying but once Miss P arrived between adjusting to a baby and the expectations at home it all seemed too much, within six months I’d entered the workforce and study was shelved.

In the years since then I’ve started studying and have completed several small stints of study and certificates but when I’ve attempted degrees I’ve lasted six months maximum, and it’s not because I’m a bad student I achieve quite high grades.

My story is one of repeated unfulfilled attempts to study and while that’s most likely not an inspiring tale to tell I think that failure is also an important part of opening up the conversation around educating women.

Support: It was around the third year of high school that I realised that my parents weren’t willing to support me through university. I’m not saying that women studying need full financial backing or to be cared for to be successful. But the fact of the matter is that to go to university I would have had to move a minimum of 400kms from home, find and finance accommodation, transport and living costs (my mother earned too much for me to be eligible for government support and being declared independent was also a difficult process). It seemed an insurmountable challenge and so I mentally shifted gears and stopped wanting an academic future for myself, thinking that way caused me to believe there was no point in doing well (or even attending school). If there’s anything to be offered from my experience it’s that telling and showing the women in your life that you are willing to support them (emotionally even if you can’t assist financially) in achieving their dream is paramount in them keeping that dream alive.

Self-sacrifice: It’s natural to me to put my needs aside for the greater good of my family. Except it’s not natural, as women we are trained from birth to sacrifice our desires to fulfil the expectations of others. Each time I’ve attempted study it’s placed our family under financial strain and as such I’ve left to ensure that my family have a more comfortable life, so that they don’t have to go without. For women to be truly equal in access to education we need to teach them from young girls that their needs and desires are valid and just as important as those of others around them.

Recognition: I’m not saying that women should get more recognition for studying than men, but to break through the social conditioning that is so common and achieve whatever goals they may have does need to be celebrated. Some reassuring that they are doing something important and recognition of this struggle to those who are in the midst of studying could be what they need to keep pushing through and finish. Recognising that finishing is just the beginning of the struggle for women in many industries and letting them know you have faith in their ability might be just what they need to put that education into action and break through the many barriers that still exist for women in the workplace.

Take it from me a little encouragement, some love and maybe some babysitting or a meal if you can manage it could be the supporting the girls and women in your life need while pursuing their education dreams.

Please Note: Images and words are Lila's unless otherwise indicated

EDUCATION GUEST POST CAITLIN FROM: Mother Down Under.

Today’s guest post comes from Caitlin at Mother DownUnder. I don’t know how Caitlin manages everything in her life, she is mother to adorable Toddler C, works as a theater nurse, teaches Hypnobirthing, is studying to obtain her Masters in Health Practice, and has her fantastic blog, I am more than a little impressed with her. Caitlin is one talented woman! Make sure you pop over to Caitlin's blog, and two facebook pages and give her a lot of love.

I remember reading an article about the differences between raising boys and girls.  

The author claimed that when a mother is rearing a son she isn't as concerned about their independence..."mommies' boys" are tolerated and even celebrated in our society and since boys will grow up to be men, their dominance is assured.  So boys are coddled and cuddled and indulged without a mother wondering how this will affect their future. 

However a mother who is raising a girl worries about her being independent and self-assured enough to survive and thrive what still is a man's world.  As a result little girls are encouraged and even pushed to become strong and resilient and taught that they have to prove their worth.

Reflecting on my childhood, I know that my parents believed that education was the way to create independent women and I know that they sacrificed all that they had and then some to ensure that my sister and I had the best education available to us.  

I am sure that there were emotional costs...my sister and I both went to boarding school starting at age thirteen.  

And there certainly were financial costs...when I add up the cost of what has been fed to my brain, it is staggering.

I wonder if I will make such sacrifices to educate my son?  

Caitlin's gorgeous son.

I absolutely think that education is important for both boys and girls.  And I will of course do all that it takes to ensure that my son enjoys learning.  

But do I believe that education is as crucial for my son and his future as it would be for a daughter's future? 

Do I think my son will be appreciated and valued for who he is regardless of where he goes to high school?

Do I think girls have it that easy?  No.  I think girls and women are taught that being female is not enough and that education provides them with something concrete that proves that they have value.

I hope that, by the time my boy becomes a man, the world becomes a more fair and equitable place.  

And I hope that he grows up appreciating girls and women for who they are and celebrates their inherent worth.

Please Note: Images and words are Caitlin's unless otherwise indicated. 

MY EDUCATION: PART THREE

Time now for me to cover the formal part of my education. After living with Pat, and being encouraged to grow my mind, I realised that not all education had to be as tortuous as High School.

Me in 2006 part way through my triple major

It was actually a combination of Pat, and my apprenticeship as a Hair Dresser that showed me I like to learn. I like to challenge my mind. As part of my apprenticeship I went to TAFE one day a week. When this was finished I opted to do more training. The first was an easy choice I became a qualified tutor, and tutored the students at TAFE. While doing this I also completed A Certificate II in Arts. 

But it was not until after I had Tamika that I was bitten by the education bug big time. When she started school, I started university. I worked full time and studied part time. So it was slow going through some of my degrees. But I managed to do a Bachelor of Arts with a major in Photography, at Griffith University.

Next another Bachelor of Arts, this time I went crazy and did a triple major, Art History, Media Studies and Literature Studies. Yup a triple on top of work and being a single Mum. There were lots of nights I thought I would go crazy. But I not only completed all three, I completed the three with a GPA of 6.75.

A couple of years off study I thought I would go back for more and did a Graduate Diploma of Education. Well almost, I have one prac left before I am a qualified teacher. Pregnancy and disillusionment with the Queensland education system got in the way of me completing this degree.

Will I study more? Of course! What next who knows. Any recommendations?