3 YEARS AND 9 MONTHS

Growth & Appearance:

My long hair beautiful boy, I think no matter what I dress you in, you will get mistaken for a girl. There is a softness, a prettiness to your face. I think, you look like a boy, but it seems most strangers do not.

I ask you often if you want to get a hair cut like Daddy, but you always reply with "I like my long hair". Well your hair is yours, and it is your call.

You came back from Bali several shades darker. Does not seem to matter how much suncreen I use you always tan.

Eating:

Nothing has changed here, still my fussy eater. Though I was proud of how many new things you tried when we were in Bali.

Talking: 

You never shut up. You like to talk. You even told me yesterday that when Tamika took you to the park while I was at work "I talk Teaky, my sister, ear off". You always like to add the 'my sister' bit when referring to Tamika.

I know I should correct some of your enunciation of certain words, but it is just too cute how you say some things.

Sleeping: 

You wake normally around 7:30. Nap for about two hours in the middle of the day. Then go to bed around 8:30. Giving me the parenting gold of a day nap and sleeping through the night.

You still co-sleep. You will nap in your bed, but your heart breaks and tears come each time I suggest you sleep in your bed. So for now you sleep all over Justin and I. I often wake with your sweaty little body on top of mine. You like to cuddle or sleep on either Justin or I every night.

You still want to be cuddled to sleep by patting my tummy and twirling a mole on my belly. Yup this is weird, but it soothes you.

Development:

My toddler is disappearing and a child is replacing him. You have grown up and matured so much in the last month. I think is has a lot to do with us going to Bali. You accepted and processed so much information and change it was incredible. You have taken on chores of late. You are so, so very responsible about them. One of them is to keep the loo paper stacked. I think the image shows how full on you are about fulfilling your jobs. 

I think the first image captures your personality so well. You run at life, head on, full of life and energy.

Favourites:

After only four lessons, clear to say ballet has become your new favourite. You wake up Mondays, and are so excited to get up and go. You ask all week "on Monday I do ballet?" You are also getting a strong taste in regards to music, you will clearly like or not like a song. You ask me for happy music and have a list of songs that fall into this group.

You still love to paint, you and I will pass hours, painting at your craft table. You are slowing filling up our whole bedroom with your works. 

How I am thinking/Feeling:

How do I put into words how you make me feel? Tamika may have made me a mother, and shaped the woman that I am. But you have certainly put your stamp on me. You make me lighter, happier. You make me just want to 'be' with you.

I often think of all of the things I should be doing but then. I realise being with you is really all I want to do. Whole days can past and all we have done is play. But those simple days always tend to be my happiest. You are a funny child, who makes so many people laugh. You remind me to be happy and enjoy the moment. The world needs more people like you in it. 

3 YEARS AND 3 MONTHS

Growth & Appearance:

All at once you are so old, yet also still my baby. Your weight never seems to change, but boy do your feet grow! You get taller and ganglier each month.

Eating:

Since Christmas you seem to have gotten even fussier. If that was even possible. Yet, over all I am not worried. Kids do this and I am sure, soon enough you will eat what ever again. Though, I have never seen anyone smash through a milkshake as fast as you do.

Talking: 

Chatty McChatty. You question and talk all day. Funny thing is you talk even more to your Dad. Funny cause, Justin is so not a big talker, yet you force him to talk to you all of the time. Sometimes I think Justin hides in his office working just to have a silence break.

The cutest thing you say of late is your name, you are "Jarba Big Boy". Occasionally you add you last name. We even had a big debate about last names, you think my name should be the same as you and your Dad.

You love to ask the time, in fact you ask it every ten seconds or so. I started this, I was teaching you numbers and the time via the clock, now you ask all of the time. But you do not want me to tell you, you want me to turn around and say "I don't know, can you tell me?"

Sleeping: 

Still co-sleeping. I ask every now and then, but you get upset and say "no allll the people sleep together". So I guess you will sleep with us for awhile longer.

You have developed this weird habit, not sure if I have mentioned it before, but you like to pat my tummy and twirl my mole on my tummy until you go to sleep. I know you are tired when you ask for tummy.

Development:

You have developed a more of a sense of 'you'. You know what you do want, and what you do not. This includes, foods, clothes, well pretty much everything. Once you set your mind to something you will stubbornly try to do it, even if it would be easier if I helped you.

Favourites:

Painting has become a string favourite the last couple of months. Tamika and I both gave you art supplies for your birthday. At first you were a little disinterested, but then I set up an art station near my desk. Now you want to paint all of the time. Finally found a purpose for all of my uni notes and assignments, You are painting and crafting your way through them. Since then I have had to buy you more and more paint. I do not mind I love watching you paint, the look of happiness and concentration. Plus our bedroom is looking great, I always hated those white cupboards.

How I am thinking/Feeling:

You make me feel content. I like to just 'be' with you. I think, today I will sew/blog/housework but then I find myself just playing with you. But I always go to bed happy on the days of no work and just us hanging out.

You fill me with wonder at the person you are becoming. 

How stunning are the last two images of Jarvis and I together??!! Justin does take incredible images. Visit his website here and here for his wedding website. 

36 MONTHS

Growth & Appearance:

You are 98cm tall, and you weigh 15.5kg. What does this mean? I think you are about average? Who knows. On average you are a size three in a shirt. Yet you are so skinny around the hips, in store bought clothes you are still wearing 0s and 1s.

All I know is that you are gorgeous and growing, so that is all I care about. Though I have thought of bringing back foot binding, at the rate your feet grow. 

Eating:

You go through days of not wanting to eat anything, and other days you eat so much I think you will explode.

You have also learnt to help yourself from the fridge and pantry. Which means sometimes when you go really quiet, I find you mid pig out on something.

Talking: 

At home and around people you are comfortable with, you are a little chatterbox. Though if we are out, or with people you are not so sure of, you are shy. But you absorption of new words is incredible.

Sleeping: 

So for your birthday, your Dad decided that you should sleep in your own bed. No more cot. But in reality, this means I am going back to broken sleep. You either want me to sleep with you in your single bed, hanging onto me so tight all night. Or you sleep in "Mummy Daddy bed". Which is where you ask to sleep every night since the cot has gone. Yes I know you were too old for the cot. But at least you slept in it all night in your own space. Now we are truly back to co-sleeping. Okay you sleep, I get kicked awake all night.

However, for your day nap you happily sleep in your bed.

Development:

You have known all of your letters for ages and ages, since around your second birthday. But, of late I have been testing you and getting you to read words to me. Plus I have been attempting to do more maths. It was never my interest, so I am a bit slack in teaching you numbers.

You have had one or two tantrums of late. But it has happened late at night, normally after a big day, and you are tired and frustrated trying to tell us something. First time I told you "it is okay to have big emotions, but go to your room, and when you are calm I will come in and talk to you". Second time it happened you went into your room by yourself. Then as soon as I followed you in, you climbed on my lap and cuddled with me. So I hope, how this worked with Teak, it will also work with you.

Favourites:

For your birthday you got a bubble gun and trampoline. Both of which you adore. Your uncle Ken gave you three books, Octonauts, Buzzbee and Giggle and Hoot. At a guess I would say I have read these three books everyday since your birthday at least three times.

You are still a huge fan of going to cafes for milkshakes. They only fall into two categories, 'good' and 'not good'. You like being the critic.

You have also had much fun this past month with your 'own' garden. I let you pick what ever seeds you wanted and have planted it for you. You picked all 'zizzie' seeds and have planted them willy nilly. So I am hopeful with all of this rain you will get an explosion of flowers in your garden.

How I am thinking/Feeling:

Three. You are three. I knew it would go fast. I was prepared for it, because of Tamika. yet the speed in which you are aging is...well it seems on fast-forward.  Definitely my baby no longer, you are the most loving, crazy, and stubborn person I know.

You stop me from doing so much. I think I want to sew or do something, yet then you come and ask me to play and I realise, all I really want to do is enjoy being with you. 

35 MONTHS

Growth & Appearance:

There are days lately I see teenage you. Baby you has gone. You are almost too pretty, not a day goes by a stranger tells me/us how beautiful our daughter is. I don't care about the girl comments, I think people cannot see past your long hair. But then again your face is pretty.

Eating:

You like to eat things your way. Cereal with your fingers and a straw. Okay, why not if you will eat. Same if you help me cook, then you are more than happy to eat it.

Talking: 

Oh, my! For someone who did not talk for ages, now you do not shut up. Oh, and you mimic almost everything your Dad says, even down to his tone. I got told "yes dear" sarcastically when I asked you to go for your nap. 

Sleeping: 

You fight me going to sleep. But then we lay down together you ask for my tummy (you like to pat my tummy and play with my moles) and within minutes you are asleep. You still co-sleep and I don't care. I love having you near. Your little hand reaches out to pat me during the night and I think it is me, that gets more comfort from having you close, than you do.

Development:

Each and every day you are different. Your development is incredible. Watching you grasp new concepts and master them. I almost forget what you were like last month, because you have changed so much since then. This quote comes to mind with you.

“I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

Favourites:

You love being outside, whether it is digging in the garden and planting seeds. Or digging in the sand at the beach. If you have your cranky pants on, I just have to take you outside.

Inside it is hiding, reading, or dancing naked. hmm yes you have your own version of naked twerking. Without ever spotting twerking your dance style is indeed original. You also like to play catch. You jump off the tallest thing, such as a bookcase and make your Dad catch you.

Oh and your other favourite thing is going on a "meeting". Which is your code for lets go to a cafe, and order a milkshake. 

How I am thinking/Feeling:

I think the photo of the contents of my pocket explains how I am feeling. You collect and add to my pocket as the day goes by. Rather than weighing me down it adds to me, to who I am as a person. You teach me to be present in the moment. To stop and look at the world through fresh eyes. It may just be a rock, but to you the colours the textures, all make it special. You also teach me kindness. You make me want to be nicer to myself and to others in the world. 

34 MONTHS

Growth & Appearance:

As much as you look like your Dad, you certainly have your own style. From the way you wear you hair, through to what clothes you wear, are all of your choice. This month has been all about channelling a Columbian Drug lord with your sunglasses, Hawaiian shirts and attitude.

You sleep in the same way as your Dad, yet you do it in style with your Hawaiian shirt. 

Eating:

Some days you eat more than your sister. Other days you barely eat a thing. What I have learnt is to relax and let you eat when you are hungry. As long as I can sneak some veg and some calcium into your diet then I am happy.

Talking: 

Chatty McChatty. You wake up talking. Normally with a question, and you do not stop talking and asking questions until you go to sleep. 

Sleeping: 

I know it is time for you to start sleeping in your own bed. Yet I think both of us enjoy the comfort of co-sleeping. Justin will suggest it occasionally, but then he will wake up cuddled all around you and change his mind. I think all three of us enjoy the love and comfort co-sleeping brings.

Even when you sleep in your own bed for you day nap, you always get a co-sleeper, even if it is just Tira.

Development:

Whether it is because Chester is now the baby, you are certainly acting more mature. Your logic is good, and it is easy to explain things to you. You grasp things really easy. For example you repeated over and over that Tamika's belly had a baby in it. The moment you saw Chester you asked "baby grow big and came out your bum?". Okay so not out of Tamika's bum, but you 'got' that the bum that was Tamika's belly was now Chester.

You want to do so much more for yourself. 

Favourites:
Hiding has always been a favourite, yet this month it includes hiding with all of your stuffed toys. Often in very uncomfortable positions with either me or your Dad.

Your other favourite is your new nephew Chester. Each day you ask to see and to play with Chester. i cannot wait until he is actually old enough for you tow to play together rather than you just piling up legos onto of Chester.

Yes, that is me hiding under a bucket with you and your stuffed toys. 

How I am thinking/Feeling:

Tamika may have taught me how to be a mother, but you definitely teaching me how to let go and just 'be'. The love and laughter you bring to my life is incredible. I think I have all of these things I have to do, should do. Then with one little "peas" I drop everything to go and play with you. Time is short and I want to grab every moment I can with you.

32 MONTHS

Growth & Appearance:

You now weigh 15kgs and you are 95cm tall. You wear a size 8 in a shoe, but it is getting too tight, so time for an upgrade. I have no idea on the size of your clothes as it has been so long since I bought you anything from a store.

You are still 90% Justin with just a tiny dash of me. Your hair, and the way you scrunch up your nose when you smile is me.

Eating:

You like to be independent, if you can do it yourself, this includes getting it out and help preparing it, you will eat it. In the morning while I am making the bed, you will go to the kitchen and get all of the breakfast out, including bowls and spoons. You hate to be rushed with your food. Plus you have an intense dislike of food that is hot. When making our dinners, yours has to go in the freezer for a few minutes before you will eat it.

Talking: 

You do not shut up! You chatter all day and now 90% of the words make sense. You learn new words everyday and mimic carefully what others say. Last month you could only say four or so colours, this month you say them all. Some of them not as clear "lellow" being yellow, but we can understand what you are saying.

Justin said sarcastically "yes dear" to me. You stood beside me and repeated it even with the tone. The other night at dinner Guy said "butthole", unfortunately you repeated this. I think Guy learnt a lesson in parenting from you that night.

You talk the whole time! There is a running commentary on everything you do. You also talk with your hands, like I do.

Sleeping: 

As long as Justin or I are near, you sleep the night through. Though the last few weeks when it has been extra cold, about four in the morning, you crawl over me and snuggle down in-between Justin and I. I have not made up my mind how long you will co-sleep, I guess for as long as it works for all three of us.

Development:

You are running more like a big kid, slowly losing the toddler waddle. You run around the yard like a crazy person. Plus anything to do with jumping, bouncing on the bed and jumping off the bedhead. It just has become more coordinated.

I think I say this every month, but I am surprised at just how much you mature month to month. I look back at last month and realise you now can do so many more things for yourself. 

Favourites: 
Can I say dirt? Since the 'diggers' have been working on the property behind us, you love to up to the back of the yard and dig. You fill up your bucket and more dirt from one spot to another. Grunting with what appears to be the effort.
You still love your chickens so much. Often stopping your digging to hug a chicken or two.

How I am thinking/Feeling:

It has been a rough month for me emotionally losing yet another baby, which makes you even all the more precious to me. You suddenly seem so grown up. The way you responded to my grief was overwhelming. We were so careful not to mention I was pregnant, yet, you told Tamika "Mummum baby" and patted my tummy. Then after the miscarriage you said a couple of things that broke my heart and make me realise how clever you are. You said "baby yun away" and patted my face giving me kisses. Then a few days later you said "baby yun away, buy more?" If only it was that easy.

Through the grief, I have acknowledged that you are my last baby, you are...well you are no longer a baby. You are growing up so fast and I can say that you are the easiest child to be a Mummum to. 

Sick Bubba needs to be hugged and carried all day. Aching arms and back, this was the compromise position. 

31 MONTHS

Growth & Appearance:

Your hair is probably too long. However, every time I cut it, you get sad. Plus I love it scraggly on you.

This month you have gotten so much heavier. I must go somewhere to weigh you. You are as tall and as heavy as your cousin, who is a year older than you. Though you still look as thin as ever.

Eating:

You like to help. This includes getting your food ready. You like to get out your own plates and food. You will sit for the first half of a dinner on your chair, then you are filled with energy and bounce about, you will often finish a meal standing.

Talking: 

Your speech this month has improved to no end. You love repeating words after your Dad. Justin will give your words in several languages and you repeat them. Listening to you say 'buongiorno' is so cute. You and your Dad also love saying words like "zowie Mumma".

Sleeping: 

Why oh why is it you fart yourself awake every morning? Is it a boy thing?

Development:

Your reading has gone off like crazy this month. Okay not of words but you love to read a book with me and read a letter at a time. Books take for ever!! If I ask you the letters you can point to everyone. But struggle saying a few.

Same with colours you know all of your colours, yet can only say black, white, grey, and blue.

Favourites: 

Dad bought you a vintage money box from the Wooloongabba Antique centre (love that place) and you call it your Duck box. Any money people give you for your eggs go in there. You are also good at scamming extra coins for it. Your excitement is gorgeous when someone gives you a coin.

Tamika is not a 'thing" and neither is her baby bump, but every time she comes over your favourite thing is to lay on Tamika's belly and kiss and poke it. I think you love being kicked and poked back by your nephew, You get full of giggles when her tummy responds to your pokes.

You also have a renewed love of bouncing on our bed. You will bounce, jump, and generally go crazy until you are all sweaty and out of breath. I am pushing for a trampoline for your third birthday.

How I am thinking/Feeling:

Such overwhelming love, I feel so lucky you are in my world. You are a funny person, you never fail to make me and others laugh when ever they are around you. You are such a rough boy, yet you are so quick to cuddle and kiss your Mummum. Days are normally so easy with you, the only time you are a full on cranky pants, is each and every time I have to put clothes on you. If you had it your way you would stay nude. But as soon as the dressing is over you are back to laughter and kisses.

30 MONTHS

Growth & Appearance:

So what does my two and a half year old look like. Pretty much like you always have, just taller. It is harder for me to find winter clothes that fit you. Shirts that fit the length of your arms are too baggy. With store bought pants they fit your waist, but then are about five centimeters too short. Lucky for your tall skinny frame, I make most of your clothes.

Eating:

Like everything else you doing, eating has to be done "your way". You will eat some days, but then other days you are too busy. I just try to sneak in enough veggies and calcium and hope that the rest is okay.

Lunch is done with a full face of make-up and animated story telling.

Talking: 

Dozens and dozens of new words and new sayings. You wake up and you talk. Then you talk all day until you finally go to sleep. The worst thing you do is you will say things on repeat. Since coming back from Melbourne all you ask for is a "blue duck". I do hope we can find a chicken blue enough for you. Since you rarely ask for stuff and this is a practical ask (we get more eggs) we are thinking of fulfilling this wish of yours. You are also copying what we say, I said "No way" to Justin and like a perfect mimic you repeated it back, with the exact sarcastic tone. We are now going to have to watch what words we use.

You now tell us stories...Apparently Dick's (Tamika) baby has to grow, but it is a ducks bum (Jarvis talk for egg) and will come out of her bum. Justin is also pregnant. But no one else is. If we try to tell you Susie also has a baby in her belly like Tamika, you say "bum burp" which is your way of saying fart. So Tamika is pregnant, Justin is pregnant, but Susie just needs to fart.

On the look out for a blue duck for you.

Sleeping: 

For your day nap, if I am at work you will happily go to sleep for your Dad. But if I am at home you will only go to sleep if I lay beside you. In most ways I do not mind, the quiet time, the cuddles, plus you always tell me to read my book. But some days I think you are getting old enough to go to sleep with out me. But then you will call my name with horrible heart wrenching sigh if I don't lay beside you, I think bugger it, you are only young for such a small amount of time.
After every sleep of nap, you always wake up and say "no more shhh".

Development:

Boy you have major attitude. But you are also one of the funniest people I know. Many people have commented on just how funny you are once you get over being shy around most people. I think this quote sums you are so well: “Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You." You do things in your own way, you are a strange wonderful soul, that is so full of life.

You are also showing how much you have grown up of late, you now stand to pee and insist on a 'big person' cup to drink from. As with everything, you seem to be the one who tells us when you are ready to move onto the next stage of your development.

Anything that requires concentration also requires a slight tongue poke.

Favourites: 

This month you have insisted on blue hair and lots of coloured make-up. Each day as I get ready you sit on the bathroom floor and paint your face. Even days I am not wearing make-up you still want to do yours. Though you like the heavy handed approach when it comes to applying it.

I worked some crazy hours before we went to Melbourne and your favourite "dark blue car' went missing. Oh, the heart break. Justin and I went in to dozens of shops and finally found a replacement. But, somehow you know. You just do not want to carry your new dark blue car around with your every day every where like the old one.

Not sure if this goes under favourite but this month you have developed this habit of stoking and kissing my belly.

How I am thinking/Feeling:

Sad, too many people around me are having babies and my greatest wish was to give you a sibling close in age. But also really lucky. You are an extreme person, so filled with love and light, I feel so very lucky I get to watch you grow up.