Sunday, 12 February 2017


I have often lamented that retail is a crap job. Equal to the hospital trade. Normally when I go out I try extra hard to be nice to people working in these jobs. I like to think I never add to their worries.

Image is me, a wreck of a customer. 



Friday night I became the horror customer. The one that they will talk about in years to come.

Friday morning, I felt feverish and queasy. The heat? Premenopausal? Premenstrual? Blame it on the new Happy Hormones and liver detox I started on Thursday night? What ever it was I spent the day progressively feeling yuckier.

Friday night Jarvis reminded me of my promise to get him a 50cent cone from Maccas. Crap. I felt like shit, but a promise is a promise. As soon as I pulled into the car park, I knew all was not good. So we sat in the car for a bit, Jarvis playing, and me gulping cold air con air. I thought I felt better, so in we went....

As soon as I walked through the door of Maccas, the stale smell of greasy air hit me. I grabbed Jarvis's hand, and ran like crazy to the loo.

I had to make a choice, I knew I was going to have explosive diarrhea, and vomiting, so I chose to sit on the loo. Without much thought, I whipped off my tshirt, thinking I could 'catch' the vomit. Okay, so this worked for the first time, but not after that.

There was just so much. It splashed up the walls of the cubical, on the floor into the next cubical, and sad to say all over Jarvis's, and my legs and feet. I felt sick as, and knew I needed help. I made a sobbing phone call to Tamika, and Justin, to come and help us.

While waiting, I continued to erupt all over the loo. I screamed at one young girl to leave, saying "get out! So sorry, but get out!" My first thanks goes to her. She went and informed the manager that there was someone in trouble.

My second thanks, goes to the lovely sweet manager. Poor thing. She walks in on the carnage that I have done, and sweet as, she offers me iced water and damp towels. I repeatedly said "I am so sorry, I am so sorry". But all the time she is a sweet as and calm.

But then to my horror, she start fucking scooping up my vomit and cleaning up. Holly shit balls, NO! DO NOT PICK UP MY VOMIT! Especially not with your freaking hands!

Luckily, Tamika and Justin arrive to save the day. Teak gets Jarvis out of the cubical, and washed him down in the sink. Sending a very wet, scared boy out to his dad.

Then, she proceeds to help clean me up. That task is not so easy. Neither was cleaning up the floor. I think it took a carton of paper towels. Then, we mopped twice. All the time we were cleaning up, the manager keep saying, no worries, I can clean up. Teak and I keep saying no and kinda shoved her out the door.

Oh, and since I have been asked a couple of times....yes I threw the tshirt away. Lucky for me without asking, Tamika thought to bring me a clean top. Not that walking through Maccas in just my bra would be embarrassing compared to what I just did in the loo. 

Words can not express my mortification and sorrow to this manager. I have called and spoken to the day manager and offered apologies and thanks for her help.

But somehow, I do not think this is enough. I feel I have forever scared this young teenage manger, who sweetly tried to help by scooping up my vomit... yup I have now become the customer that remains in someone's mind for years to come, AND so not for a good reason.

Dear Upper Mount Gravatt Maccas Night Manager,

words can not express how sorry and how grateful I am

thanks from the horrid, vomiting customer, from Friday night.

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