Wednesday, 28 August 2013

WHY I CHANGED MY HAIR COLOUR

Throughout my life I have had many hair colours and many styles. But for the last five years I have had safe hair. A blunt fringe, and all the one length, and red. Okay, so not everyone would think my red hair was safe, but in a world of rainbow hues, I thought the red was probably the most normal.


Going into Norris to pick up my Crazy Colour in Fire Red was akin to visiting Baskin N Robbins with all those choices. I know Chocolate Mousse Royal is my favourite, yet sometimes you feel the need for Rocky Road. I thought I was too old to try a 'different' colour but it is strange how being told you may have bone cancer makes you change your mind.

So I figured it's my birthday and, if I have to loose it because of chemo then why the F__k don't I just do it.

Oh, yeah the BC thing. I always thought I was going to be open and honest on here, so here it is.....

I have made no secret to my desire for a dozen or more babies. I have alluded to the struggles to fall pregnant and the miscarriages I have had. So a couple of months ago I went to see my doctor, thought I would get a full health check and see where my FHS levels are. Basically am I dreaming? Am I way too old to have another baby?

What I did not expect was to be told I was still very fertile, and very healthy, all bar for one major concern she had with my blood. A conversation about white blood and red blood passed in a blur and I was given a referral to a Hematologist. Hematologist took more blood and did more tests.

From there he referred me to an Oncologist. Yes things got scarier. After a two and half hour wait with no food, and the day after Jarvis's surgery I go into see my oncologist again. So I was tired and stressed already. I was told Option A was Bone Cancer, Option B was something wrong with my Spleen (he did explain something about an enlarged spleen which is over active in its role of filtering the white and red blood cells.). Umm can I have an option C?

So more blood tests and a full body scan. Left me thinking why the hell was I worried about being too old for a hair colour? It is my hair, if I lost it all I would be pissed off at myself for not doing what I wanted. So after the full body scan I went to Norris and pick Cyclamen. A pretty colour but still not too crazy.

Friday half way through the colour change I get a phone call from my Oncologist. Well not from him, those guys keep you waiting and never call you. From his receptionist. He would like to see me sooner than my next allotted appointment can I come in on Tuesday? Umm he keeps me waiting and now he misses me? Bloody men.

So Tuesday I go back to Oncology at the Mater Private Hospital. Another blood test and a feel up by two separate doctors and I am informed I have option B. I may or may not have done a little happy dance. No BC. I feel as if I have equaled winning Lotto with my dodge of cancer. There will be on going stuff to deal with the spleen, but that I can deal with. I am not going to let a dodgy spleen get in my way.

So me and my Banti's Syndrome have a new hair colour. I spent the last couple of weeks going through in my head what if I had cancer and what if I died. I know morbid aren't I? But I came to the conclusion, other that not being around for Tamika and Jarvis, I really only have a couple of regrets on things I have not done. That over all I am happy with my life and very lucky. My biggest issues are my stress levels and my self doubt.


So my promise to myself after dodging the BC bullet is to be kinder to myself and to stop putting myself last. My hope is with this I will decrease my stress levels. So today my CyclamenHair and Me are going to do so sewing and forget about packing and moving house for now. 

ps don't you love my photo? Justin took it for me. 

Oh, and if you have not done so yet, pop on over to my Facebook page Iliska Dreams and give me a like

32 comments:

  1. What a completely stressful time for you, I can't begin to fathom. So happy to hear it was not option A, and that option B is relatively easy to overcome?

    I love your hair colour, and the photograph of you here is gorgeous x

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    1. I am a stress bunny at the best of times, the last few weeks it felt like I was going crazy. Was too stressed to even do the things I enjoy, such as blogging and sewing.

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  2. Oh gee, how very full on. So glad you got the better option. Sew and be grateful. Oh and I love the pic. Tanya

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    1. I am soooo glad I got the better option. I feel so grateful and happy.

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  3. I'm so so grateful you don't have cancer, I really hope that the spleen stuff isn't too stressful, scary or painful.
    I'm very excited about the hair colour change, the red was beautiful but change is always fun.

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    1. I am loving my new hair colour. I haven't washed it yet so I am curious what colour it will wash to.

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  4. I love that photo...and the new hair colour.
    I am so glad that you don't have cancer...a misbehaving spleen is much easier to deal with! I hope that it doesn't cause you too much worry or pain and it sorts itself out fairly easily.
    Enjoy your day!

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    1. You would think having a photographer as a partner I would have heaps of photos of me? Nup it has been years. So I am really happy with this image Justin took.

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  5. Holy shit! (sorry) Thank goodness you don't have cancer. I hope your spleen is fixable, or at least, manageable. Fab photo. I smiled as soon as I clicked on your page. Then I gasped. Then I nearly cried. And now I'm smiling again. x

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    1. The post was not to make anyone cry or elicit sympathy, I wrote it to remind myself and others. Life is short, don't say one day. Do it and embrace life with every fibre in your body.

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  6. Life is a gift and each time I start getting a bit stressed about turning 40 in a few years, I remind myself that not everyone has had the privilege to live as long as me.

    Your hair is magnificent; this photo is just beautiful and I am so so glad you have a dicky spleen rather than the alternative. xoxoxox

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    1. Exactly! Life is a gift. Do not be scared of turning 40, the older I get the happier I am. I am excited to be turning 45 in a couple of days. I actually cannot wait until I am 50!! Yeah I know in this youth obsessed culture I am content to be ageing.

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  7. Oh my goodness I saw the "C" word and my heart stopped. I am so sorry to hear about all of this. There is nothing scarier than the wait, the tests, and when doctors tell you the options of what it could be. I hope the problem with your spleen can be solved, you are absolutely right, it is so important to live life without regrets and just do what you want to do.
    Also you have the best hair out there :)

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    1. Isn't it funny that C word upsets me way more than the other C word! Life is to be celebrated and enjoyed.

      thank you on the hair compliment :)

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  8. Oh my love what ups and down and limbo you've been in. I'm so glad that you got the news of the better of the two options. But not that's it's nice to have any on going health concerns. I must say I was reading your post holding my breath though. So glad you went out and got your hair dye after. Live on the edge honey and go crazy with your hair, smile be happy and embrace yourself and things that make you happy. We often get these big moments and scares in our life as a warning to change something before it's too late and improve the quality of our life or happiness.

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    1. My new hair is/was a celebration off all things amazing in this world! Happy hair.

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  9. My heart was in my mouth reading that. Omg, you poor darling going through all that. Cyclamen hair sounds just about perfect right about now!!! x

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    1. It was an insanely stressful time. But now I feel so light and so happy. The hair is helping...

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    2. Great hair always helps!! x

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    3. So true, I could have the crappiest outfit, but if my hair and skin are good I feel amazing

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  10. Go wild, go crazy, there's nothing like a scare to put things into perspective!

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    1. Exactly, what's a little hair colour in the big scheme of life?

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  11. I almost had h heart attack reading that! Colour that hair crazy!

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    1. It is crazy, added bonus, each time I wash my hair the colour washes out a bit and changes hue.

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  12. I am so glad you are okay! I am just sorry you had to deal with the fear and awaiting results. Your hair should be whatever color you want it to be (that goes for anyone). A) it's just hair and B) it's fun to be and do something different. <3

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    1. Emily I agree with your A and B, but for some reason I held off colouring my hair as I thought age was an issue. Now I am thinking how silly I was

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  13. What a HUGE relief it must have been to be told you actually don't have cancer?!?! Although I can only imagine how you must have felt leading up to that all the stress and worry and what ifs. And good for you for doing something you want, just for you! Sounds like you deserve it a hundred fold just now. We should all do a little more for ourselves and should take this as a lesson. H.xx

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    1. Yes! Yes! Yes! Women, Mums, need to learn to take time out and do things for themselves! Time passes so fast and all of the things we were "gunna" do, has been lost.

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  14. Plus that photo is just wonderful!

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    1. Thank you :), Justin does take a good photo!

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  15. Oh Julie! What a horrible thing to go through. I'm glad it wasn't option A, so so so glad for you and your family.

    I hope the move goes easy, the new hair looks awesome and hears to many more babies (or as many as you want!).

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    1. Move went... well as good as a move can with only one week-end to do it and with a 21 month old in tow.

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